Boy, oh Boy!

I took these pictures on Saturday when dad and I came to see you. You're just so loved, sweet boy.

While I was holding you you filled your pants. When the nurse changed you you stayed asleep through it. That's rare for you, since you hate being poopy.

I took these pictures on Monday. You were being very expressive with your eyebrows so I took a few in a row.
Here's normal...

...and expressive! 

It's so funny to watch you move your eyebrows. I love it.

When I got to the hospital today you were wide eyed and looking at your mobile.  You like to look at the web cam a lot too.  

While I held you dad came on his lunch break. We talked to the neonatologist about things. We've done a lot of talking and praying to try and decide what is best for you. I think we are getting closer to that decision. 

I spent an hour on this post and then my phone died and deleted it. Boy was that frustrating. Especially since the majority of the post was about how even among this difficult trial everyday things that are hard and frustrating still happen. When we are going through the most difficult trials we don't get a pass from all the other things in life that are hard. Things that would normally add up and result in a "bad day" still happen, ALONG with trying to cope with the new adversities.  Everything combined makes for days that are harder than ever imagined. Especially when the trial you face is requiring more endurance that you could ever imagine you would need or have.

Thankfully we weren't sent to earth to endure our trials alone. Our Savior comforts us and strengthens us. In moments when I am crying in the closet or under the covers, the Lord comforts me and calms my mind and heart.  Somehow I am able to keep going.  My seemingly impossible days are filled with meals and service from friends which give me the strength I need to continue. I am strengthened through the love and service of those around me. The prayers that so many offer for our family buoy me up. Sweet messages give me the boost I need. Not only does the Savior help us but the angels He sends do as well. Your daddy, our family and friends are my angels. And on top of all of that, Heavenly Father blesses me in ways I can't see.  

Heavenly Father has a plan for you, Caleb. He loves you so very much. And boy do we love you, buddy.

xoxo

Mom