Look How Strong

Yesterday you wanted to show us how strong you are so you decided to pull out your tube. The nurse heard a cough and cry and thought, "Oh, he  Extubated himself." She got the bag and started giving you oxygen and put a mask over your nose and mouth. They pushed the alarm for everyone to rush to your bedside and after a bit your stats started climbing and you pinked back up. The doctor came in to re intubate you but you were doing good with the oxygen mask. 3 weeks ago when this happened you needed the ventilator right away. Since you were hanging in there the doc on call thought they might give you a shot at CPAP.  You had been on 60 percent oxygen on the vent and it was a long shot but he felt you needed the chance since you were already extubated. Well, it's been 36 hours and you are still on CPAP!! 

I am so thrilled you have a break from the tube down your throat! So grateful to see your lips and watch you move them while you sleep. So thankful I can hear you make small sounds. So grateful you're getting so much stronger. When I got the phone call from the hospital I knew it was the wrong time for the typical phone call. But the doc immediately said you were okay. I can't begin to explain what it's like to have you there, away from us. I am just so grateful for this miracle of no vent right now. We still have a long road ahead but it's pretty amazing to see you hanging in there. 

You're one amazing little boy. Strong. Sweet. Tolerant. Looking in your eyes is pretty amazing. I can just feel your spirit and the power within you. I am one lucky mama. 

When the doc put you on CPAP he started a steroid to give you as much help to really give this a go. You were on 90 percent oxygen when we left last night and tonight you're at 68!!! Since so much oxygen is lost through the nasal prongs the oxygen on the vent is doubled on CPAP.  So if babies are at 50 percent oxygen on the vent they'll be 100 percent on CPAP.  Seeing as how you were 60 when you pulled your tube out shows how remarkable this truly is. Your pressure is also lower. It's just so wonderful and I'll gladly take it as long as we get it. One thing I'm learning about the NICU journey is that one day you get great news and the next day the news can be super hard. It's so unpredictable and the emotions are unlike anything else I have experienced.

I love seeing your round face! You look so different with your cheeks full. The CPAP hat has to be super tight and the pressure causes swelling in the nose and eyes. Gosh you're cute. I love you sweet boy. Thanks for showing us how strong you are. 

Xoxo

Mom