So Much to be Thankful for...

Grateful to have such great friends in Texas that we're family. Grateful my family had an amazing home cooked meal. Thank you, dear friend. 

Love the pictures of the kids at dinner. 

Amazing pies...from scratch. 

Loved the touches for the kids!!!

After the amazing dinner Zeb, the girls, and Steph came here for pie and to bring me a plate of the yummy food. I am so grateful for my family. Words can't express how much they mean to me 

The girls got to go home with Aunt Stephanie for a sleepover and Zeb was able to stay with me. It was wonderful. 

In no matter what circumstances we are in I can't help but think that there are things to be thankful for. If we take a moment to pause and think about our lives with a positive perspective there are always blessings. Some days they are harder to see, but they are there. 

My sister made this book for me a few years ago and I had everyone write what they were thankful for this year. Here are a few things each person wrote:

Julia-dinner, parents, fish, house...

Audrey-church, Heavenly Father, mom and dad...

Hallie-aunts, uncles, cousins, brother Caleb, the world...

Claire-friends, life, Caleb and Atticus

Aunt Stephanie-to be a mother, her husband, to be in Texas for thanksgiving (which she gives Cindy a shoutout for a yummy dinner)...

Zeb-family, friends, job, wife, good relationship with in laws...

Me-grateful to still be pregnant, for a husband that is amazing and has been mom AND dad for 10 weeks while still taking care of me, being here for Caleb and me (and providing strength and a shoulder for me), for my girls and the many people that take care of them, for the second moms they have each week to fill in for me, for the countless acts of service on our behalf, for the hundreds of prayers said for our family, for the visits and messages, and for mine and Zeb's families and the help and love we feel from them. 

"When we encounter challenges and problems in our lives, it is often difficult for us to focus on our blessings. However, if we reach deep enough and look hard enough, we will be able to feel and recognize just how much we have been given."

President Thomas S. Monson 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Oh and I passed my 3 hour glucose test this morning. Wahoo! 

Xoxo

Me 

Sleepover Part 2

On Wednesday I texted Stephanie and asked if she would bring shampoo and conditioner and a blow dryer to do my hair. She brought it all and washed and dried my hair for me. I can't tell you how good it feels to have a clean scalp and normal looking hair when you go 2 weeks between washes. It was heaven. 

My feet have been super dry (understatement) since I don't take regular showers, just songe baths, so not enough skin is sloughing off naturally. That said, my feet were caked in dry skin like I have never seen before.  I will spare you the picture. It's was insane. So the girls got a basin and soaked my feet. The scrubbed them, put lotion on them and massaged them. They were so sweet. 

They even painted them! 

Claire asked if I would like her to shave my legs. Not gonna turn that down. She was so worried about my shin bone that's sticking out pretty far now. She was so worried that even the electric razor would cut them. She did a great job and they feel much better. At one point I told her our legs are probably close to the same size now since I lost my muscle. Her response was, "Probably our lower legs, but I don't think our thighs are." Uh for sure. My thighs and her thighs aren't even in the same bell curve. Love her. 

It is so much fun to be able to spend time with 2 of the girls at a time. I feel like I get to focus on them more. When all 4 are here for a couple hours I feel like I don't get to really "see" each of them. To spend so many days on break with them AND get a sleepover was awesome. I loved it. The girls did too. 

I seriously adore these girls. I couldnt get them to both smile without flashing a sign or puckering their lips to save my life. They are at such a fun age. 

It was so fun to spend time with my sister too. I love my sisters. So grateful Steph came and that she sacrificed thanksgiving with her family to have it with mine. So many nurses say she looks like my dark haired twin. I love it. We don't see it the way others do but it's fun to hear it. :)

We watched some duck dynasty, talked and then Got ready for bed. Claire and Hallie wanted to play monopoly. About two minutes into the game Stephanie was out. She pretty much runs around for me all day long. At about 11:30 we called it a night and hit the sack. 

The next morning was thanksgiving and the girls packed up their stuff and headed home. They'll come back later tonight with everyone for thanksgiving pie. Mmmmm 

I flailed my first glucose test thanksgiving morning so I get take the three hour one Friday. Fingers crossed. 

Xoxo

Me

Party in Room 455

Yesterday I had some visitors in the morning and then at 4 Stephanie brought the girls to come see me. It has been so nice to see the girls 3 days in a row. The girls brought a new monopoly game where instead of using money you keep track electronically on credit cards. They were very excited to play it. 

I think Claire and Julia look so much alike in this picture. Hallie and Audrey look the most like each other. I wonder who Caleb will look like. Don't mind my awesome elbow in the picture. 

Zeb came after work to pick up the older two girls and Audrey and Julia got to stay and have a sleepover with mom and Aunt Stephanie. It was a blast. We watched a movie, painted a project Julia brought, painted nails, read stories and snuggled. 

I sure love these two little munchkins. At one point it was a little stinky in the room according to Julia. So I told her that maybe someone tooted. He reply was classic, "Maybe it was baby Caleb!" She cracks me up.

When it was close to about 10:30 Julia was still chatting away. Audrey was getting very tired. They wanted to hear stories about when I was little. Audrey's lids were getting heavy and Julia pipes up, "I'm going to tell a spooky story..." After she finished I told her it was time to go to bed. She said, "Mom,  could I have one little snuggle?" Uhhhh yes!!! She climbed up next to me and kept talking. After a few minutes I told her it was time to go to bed. Audrey of course was out. Julia said, "Can I have one more snuggle?" I told her yes but that she couldn't talk. In less than 5 minutes she was snoring. It melted my heart. 

In the morning Julia was awake by 7:15. I asked her if she wanted to come snuggle me and she climbed back up. Within 3 minutes she was asleep again. 

When Audrey woke up I said it was her turn to snuggle me. I seriously love to snuggle my girls. I loved hearing Audrey softly whisper, "I love you," while she was next to me. It was so much fun to spend so much time with those two. And tonight Claire and Hallie get a turn. Seriously so excited! So grateful Stephanie is here so that these sleepovers were even possible. You have to have an adult if a child stays overnight. Thank you, Steph. 

I had my ultrasound today since tomorrow is thanksgiving. Fluid was 3.86. Caleb looked great and is still using his lungs a bit. He is still breech. It's the longest he has stayed in one position to date. I am so grateful for my family and the blessings and comforts we enjoy. Can't wait to celebrate thanksgiving with them tomorrow. 

Xoxo

Me

So Happy!

So happy to be at 27 weeks. Each day is big. Each week is huge. I am so happy to have reached this date still pregnant. Had my ultrasound this morning. When the tech measured my fluid it was .7 but she said his bladder was full. The doctor came in and measured and got 4.6! She looked at his bladder and it was empty! 

I love that I was able to see the difference before and after he peed because it lets me see that it really does fluctuate not just on a daily basis but hourly basis. If there are periods throughout the day when he has 4-5 cm of fluid, he could be swallowing fluid and getting a chance for his lungs develop properly.  He pees for 2 reasons. 1. He swallows amniotic fluid which fills his bladder 2. He fills his bladder because of nutrients from the placenta and all the water I'm drinking. If he doesn't swallow fluid he still has nutrients but he misses a critical step in development, lung function and maturity. Knowing he can have times throughout the day where he is able to have some fluid to swallow gives me some peace of mind. Boy that makes me happy. 

They also did the testing to see if he is using his lungs yet and he passed! His diaphragm moved which means he has started using his lungs. So happy he is doing well. He is a fighter. 

Stephanie came to see me and brought the girls. Great to see her and great to get to see the girls again. I love that I'll get to see them more this week. The end of last week was a bit rough. I was really missing my girls. Missing Zeb. When I get sad and have a little cry I try my best to turn things around quickly.  Crying and getting emotions out is healthy but dwelling on them can be destructive. Getting to see them more this week makes me so happy. 

Here are some pictures of the time I got to spend with my girls and sister today.

Aunt Stephanie and Julia. At bedtime last night Julia told Stephanie I read her five books at bedtime. Um no. I sing her multiple songs but don't read multiple stories. She did the same thing with Angie. Oh Julia. She is definitely no dummy. 

Pizza time! Instead of leaving during rush hour Stephanie ordered pizza that was delivered to our room. Loved it. Julia apparently is pretending to be upset here, she is a character. 

Claire seems to be growing up wayyyyy to fast this school year. 

Hallie loves to cuddle next to me in the hospital bed. I soak in every second.

Julia was flat ironing my hair with a plastic curling iron. As she brushed my hair she looked at me and said, "Mom, I think you look better out of the hospital." Can't argue with the truth. I agree Julia, I sure do. On a side note I have started retaining water in one place, and one place only. My cheeks. Despite the fact I haven't gained a lot of weight my cheeks tell another story. Oh well. Who cares? It certainly doesn't matter in the scheme of things. Afterall, I have so many things to be happy about. 

Hello 27 weeks!!!

Xoxo

Me

Family Time!

I was so excited to see Zeb and the girls yesterday. They even came for several hours which was fantastic. We watched Christmas movies and snuggled lots. Loved spending time with my family. 

When we were looking at flights for my sister Stephanie to come for Thanksgiving the fact that the girls were going to be out of school for the whole week didn't even cross my mind. We purchased the tickets for the cheapest flight. When I realized that the girls have the whole week off and that she would be here for the days they were out of school I was so so so relieved. Such a blessing. 

Her flight was supposed to get here at 9:35 last night. She ended up getting to the airport 2 hours and 15 minutes before her flight was departing. When she got to the ticket counter she found out that all flights on American Airlines were canceled for the evening due to the ice storm. The employee said to come back tomorrow. She immediately said, "what are my other options?" He told her that there was a flight through Delta that was leaving at 9 and arriving at 11:30 so she had him print her a ticket for that flight. She still wasn't satisfied and asked if there were any other flights. He said that if she ran she might be able to make it just before another plane boarded on Delta that was leaving at 5. It costs 50 bucks to fly standby but the card reader wasn't working so he gave her the standby ticket free of charge. Seriously awesome. 

She ran to the gate and found out she was the first standby passenger. About 15 minutes after she sat down to wait more people came to see if they could make the flight as well. She waited until they were boarding and they called her name, they had ONE seat available. She got on the flight!!! She was able to land 45 minutes earlier than she would have if her original flight hadn't been canceled. The ice storm didn't hit last night like it was forecasted and Zeb went to get her with the girls without horrible roads. Another blessing.

Zeb was able to get home around 9:30 and Stephanie put Julia to bed. Zeb went to bed as soon as he could since he started working at 3:30 this morning. He has more work this week and it landed right at the perfect time, a time when family is here to watch the girls. Another blessing. 

We are so grateful that she is in Texas. There were seriously so many blessings to get her here. The girls are soaking up time with Aunt Stephanie and I love getting to see her too. 

Here are some pictures of our movie night and family time.

Movie and treats. 

Snuggling with Julia. 

Being silly.

Being sillier. 

On the way to the airport. 

Pretty awesome day I'd say! 

Xoxo

Me 

Not Much...

Well, there isn't much to report here. Which is a good thing. 

I could pretty much renovate any home and know how to shop for homes in multiple countries. Too bad watching it on TV doesn't translate into actual experience doing those things. If it did, I'd have a lot more skills than I came to the hospital with. 

There is no curtain by the door so when food service comes with my food they just walk right in. I am happy to report that they have never walked in on me using the bedpan, thank goodness. The workers are all females which makes it less awkward if they did walk in at the time of my duties. Considering that I've probably had close to 100 meals delivered in the last 4 weeks, I think it's pretty awesome there hasn't been an "encounter." Note: My favorite was today when the food worker pointed to my bedpan and asked if I used it if I needed to vomit. 

I will never ever forget my birthday. I have said it hundreds of times during my hospital stay. I am happy to report that when I get old and possibly have dementia I will always remind my family and friends of my birthday, that I am certain. 

I feel guilty every time they ask me if I want pet therapy. They come ask once a week and I always say no. I feel bad every time. But honestly I have no idea what I would do. I don't have pets, except Herbie the fish, and have never really been an animal person. I know that might seem heartless to animal lovers out there. But just know that I am never mean to them or negative towards them. I think they are wonderful. 

I have the sweetest lady come clean my room in the mornings. She is Hispanic and I love her accent. She has dimples and the sweetest disposition. The first thing she says each morning is, "How you do feel today?" She says it in the nicest most sincere way and it makes me happy every morning. She loves her job and I think she is amazing. When she leaves she always says the same thing, "Is there anything else I can do for you Mrs. Fish?" When I tell her no says, "Let me know if there is anything else you need, Mrs. Fish." I seriously love her. 

The hair on my legs was competing in length with Zeb's. He was a gem and brought me an electric razor to have here. Ahhhhh. 

I no longer have amniotic fluid dreams so I really hope that doesn't translate into wetting the bed in the future and not waking up to it. I think I should be safe, right? 

Here are some pictures of Julia with friends. I am so grateful for everyone that helps take care of my girls, feed them, clean our house, mow the lawn (an anonymous friend) and everything in between. I miss my girls. 

Xoxo

Me

Better than 1!

I had my ultrasound today. Caleb is still breech. Fluid was 2.4, which is better than 1. We'll take it!!! He was moving like crazy during the ultrasound so it was hard for the MFM doctor to see if he has started using his lungs. Typically babies start using their lungs at 28 weeks but pPROM babies typically start around 26. You can tell if they are using their lungs by watching the diaphragm. If it moves it means the baby is using his/her lungs. Caleb was so active that his entire body was moving. He is such a mover. He thinks he saw it move some. 

Then during monitoring he had the hiccups. He is too funny. 

That's the story for today. Not much going on which is good. Quiet and boring is good. :) 

Grateful that we have so many dear friends helping so that our girls aren't bored and sad. 

Another day down.

Xoxo

Me

26 Weeks Today!

Made it to 26 weeks. Super excited about that. I can't believe it's been 6 weeks in the hospital. I had my sonogram this morning. My fluid was 1cm. I have been leaking a lot more lately. Caleb is breech again so that explains quite a bit. He seriously moves a ton. Every three days he is in a different position. Zeb says maybe when he's older we should put him in gymnastics. They measured him at the appointment and he is measuring about 1 pound 11 ounces. His week measurement is 25w2days. When he was measuring bigger the doctors didn't seem like that mattered and now that he is measuring a bit smaller on the chart they don't seem to weigh it as heavily as you or I would. I am finding that because the measuring can be plus or minus a week or two just like the weight can be plus or minus as well, the doctors don't react much to what the measuring shows. They track his growth and are satisfied as long as he is growing.

The specialist talked to me a lot about steroids and when he recommends getting the second dose. He is the 4th MFM doctor I have seen so far. The first week I was here I saw 5 different OB's. I see a total of 11 different doctors. Each doctor seems to have a varying option and would do x, whereas another doctor would do y. Sometimes the information they give us contradicts what the other doctor said. It's very difficult to make decisions and then have the next on call doctor come in and tell us he or she wants to do things differently. They have different opinions on when to give the second dose of steroids, whether or not I should be getting out of bed to use the bathroom, among other things. I try to listen to how I feel and make the best informed decision. Things aren't black and white, even when your baby reaches viability.  I had no idea decisions would be so tough. But at least we are able to make decisions, to be a part of the care for our baby. The fact that I'm still pregnant is huge and allows us the opportunity to answer these questions for us. If I had delivered when my water broke we wouldn't even be able to be asked these questions. 

When people text me and ask how I'm doing I always respond by saying I'm hanging in there. Our family is hanging in there. Each one of us is trying our hardest to endure this trial. When Zeb was here last week I asked him what he wanted for Chrsitmas he said, "I don't need anything." To which I replied, "That's why I asked you want you wanted not what you needed." He paused and then said "What I really want for Chrsitmas is for my wife to be home with us, sealed over and still pregnant." I didn't even know what to say but I thought boy would that be awesome. Then yesterday I asked the girls what they wanted from Santa and Hallie couldn't think of anything she really wanted. But then she responded, "What I want the most is for my baby brother to be okay and healthy." I teared up and told her that would be the best Christmas gift ever. 

Here is a picture of Caleb's face. He kind of looks like a little man in the picture. It's obviously enlarged so it makes it seem like his face is really big but obviously it's not. And there is a lot of smooshing going on since the placenta presses in on him. Use your imaginations. :) He sure is a little fighter.

We made it to 26 weeks, one day at a time! 

Xoxo

Me

Weekend fun!

Zeb started Saturday morning off with surprises for the girls. He bought them things for their hair (including a blow dryer and curlers they can do themselves) and ego waffles that they love. Then came a huge surprise. Friends that had moved to OK came down to spend the day with them. They even stayed Saturday night so that Zeb would to be able to come for date night AND stay to keep me company. The girls screamed and squealed and loved seeing their old friend. They used to live just down the street from us. 

Zeb had mentioned that he just wanted the girls to have fun since the week is so regimented when he's home. So our sweet friends treated them to a Saturday full of fun. They had an absolutely ball. They started off bowling and loved it. 

Then they stopped at good ol' in n out for lunch. I love these pictures.

It just kept going. They hit Bahamas bucks...

And charming Charlie's where Julia tried on anything and everything. 

They went to walmart to get me a treat and a redbox to watch. :) Julia put her skirt on the caterpillar. 

Then they came to the hospital to see me!! (Claire went to a birthday party so she didn't get to come)

We played a game called "guess it." 

And just hung out and spent time together. 

They brought me a little massage vibrator to massage my back for me. So Audrey put it to use and gave me one. They are so sweet. 

After they visited they left and went to taco Taco Casa for dinner then went home and watched Monsters University. Zeb came here with dinner and dessert from The Cheesecake Factory and we watched the new superman movie. It was such a relaxing evening with my hubby. Loved every second. During the movie the nurse came in to monitor Caleb (they do it twice a day) and he was being feisty. He did not like that she was pushing so hard so he kept kicking and moving. I kid you not, she tried for over 30 minutes to get his heart rate to stay on the monitor. She changed the monitor and kept adding more and more gel. After dozens of attempts she set the monitor down on my stomach and said, "I'm going to get another nurse to see if she can get it." When she left I noticed that the monitor was totally picking up his heart rate.  She came back a few minutes later with another nurse and he was still on. We got 15-20 minutes of great monitoring from her just setting the monitor down on my stomach. It was so funny! When another nurse came to look at the strip she looked at the reading and said, "How far along are you?" Wen I told her I was 25 weeks her eyes got big. She said it was such a good strip and she couldn't believe he was only 25 weeks and theat I had pPROM'ed. She said his strip looked as good as a 35 weeker!!! That made me so happy.

What a fabulous Satruday. We made it another day!

Xoxo

Me