4lbs and growing!

Caleb weighs 4 pounds now!!! The nurse said he is awake a lot more. He's up to almost an ounce during each feed which is great.  His oxygen is at 50 percent today and he's just chillin for now.

I think he looks more and more like Julia.
xoxo
Ang

Weekend happenings...

Saturday morning Zeb was able to hold Caleb for the first time. He got to hold him for over an hour. Caleb tolerated it well but if Zeb started to rub his back his oxygen saturation would go down. It was just too much stimulation to have additional touch. Leah had a sore throat and didn't want to expose Caleb to any germs so she was at home. Again, the web cam was a blessing and she was able to watch Zeb hold Caleb. Many family members got to watch, too. We loved it!

Today's update from Zeb:
Caleb appears to be getting a bit more comfortable with the conventional ventilator. His settings haven't improved a lot but they aren't fiddling with the settings either. Hopefully that means he'll start making some progress on this ventilator in the coming days. The doctor did say that his settings are pretty high for this ventilator so if any problems develop he would likely go back to the high frequency ventilator. So we'll keep our fingers crossed for continued stability and small improvements. He's getting more milk each day and that appears to be helping. He may be off his IV as soon as late this week. If that happens then the only tubes left will be his tubes for eating and breathing. Leah and I are very grateful for all of your thoughts and prayers. We have a long road ahead of us and appreciate your continued support.


My 7 years old just came into my room and announced that her New years resolution is to see every picture that is posted of Caleb. Pretty stinking cute!
xoxo
Angie

Caleb's Snowman

Every December our Mom gives all the grand kids a new Christmas ornament to add to their collections. The kids love their ornaments from Grandma. They love unpacking them year after year and decorating their trees with them. She gives out their new ornaments at the annual grand kid Christmas party.

She called me a few Saturday's ago. Caleb was two days old. She told me she didn't have an ornament for Caleb. She buys all the ornaments a year ahead when they are on sale. Leah and Zeb thought they were done having kids. No babies we anticipated by any of us this year so my Mom was comfortable buying 24 ornaments. They came in packs of 6. She felt bad he didn't have one.

I asked her what they were this year... she told me snowmen. I assured her we could find a cute snowman and send it to Caleb. Then I remembered that a few days earlier a neighbor had brought us a yummy treat and tied a snowman ornament to the package. I told her she could give Caleb that snowman.

Later that afternoon we went to the party at Grandma's house. The grand kids decorated gingerbread men, made candy cane ornaments and ate peppermint shakes. My Mom gathered all the grand kids to read them a story. She buys a new Christmas book for each family the year before as well. The book she picked last year is called, "A Treasury of Christmas Miracles." She was teary as she read one of stories and talked to us about miracles and about Caleb.

Then she passed out the ornaments. The snowman she passed out was the very. same. snowman. that was given to me by my neighbor!!! It is a reminder to me that our Heavenly Father knows ALL of us, He LOVES us and He is involved in the details of our lives. Caleb will have a matching snowman after all. Some may look at it a crazy coincidence... I look at it and see that the Lord is aware of Caleb and wanted to remind us.

Love you baby boy.
xoxo
Auntie Angie

Two Weeks!!

Here is the update from Thursday Morning...

Caleb is packing on the pounds. He now weighs 3 lbs 11 oz. He is still on the conventional ventilator but he struggles with it quite a bit. The first day he did pretty well but then after that they had to turn up the oxygen. It ranges between 40 and 60%. His right lung doesn't work as well as his left lung so they rotate him every few hours to try to get the right lung to improve. Every six hours the therapist gives him a breathing treatment where she rubs a vibrating pad across his chest and back to try to loosen up the gunk in his lungs. Then she hooks up a breathing bag to his tube and squeezes the bag. After that she drops some saline solution into the tube, pumps some more and then runs a suction tube down his tube to try to suck the gunk out of his lungs. They've also been giving him some steroids to help with the inflammation. Since his right lung is weak they've turned up the pressure and some of the other settings to make sure his lungs don't collapse. This is basically what the doctors said could happen when they moved him to the conventional ventilator. So it wasn't completely unexpected but it's just not very fun to feel like he's regressing.

I love seeing him all wrapped up. They rotate him on his tummy and the his sides to help his lungs try to clear and to keep his head from flattening on the sides.
Oh how I love him. (from Leah!)

Keep going Mr. Caleb. We love you and pray for you all the time!
xoxo
Auntie Angie

Merry Christmas!

Christmas morning was great with the girls. We pulled Caleb up on the iPad so that it felt like he was with us.  Dallas Presbyterian Hospital has something called Peekaboo where a webcam is set up for you and your family to watch your baby in the NICU. We love it.

Before we opened gifts we talked about the Savior and a reason we are each thankful for him.. Then after a prayer we started opening presents. I love that the girls picked out a gift for Zeb and Me and they wanted us to open those gifts first. I love that they wanted us to see what they got us before they opened their gifts.

J

Here is Caleb's Santa hat that someone gave us here in the NICU. 

It's so tiny and precious, just like he is.

After Having Christmas with the girls,  Zeb and I were able to drive to the hospital and spend the evening with Caleb. We are so grateful Michelle is here to help. It means so much to us.

I wish this picture would have turned out better, its hard to see Caleb with the flash.

Caleb loved his Giraffe from the girls so much he wanted each of the girls to have a stuffed animal blanket to sleep with and remind them of him.  When we face timed the girls to show them they were ecstatic. They couldn't wait for us to come home and bring the stuffed animal blankies from Caleb. 

When I got to the hospital and saw him I burst into tears. It's so hard to see so many tubes and IV's in such a small baby. It makes my heart hurt. But I am so grateful they are able to sedate him so he doesn't get too uncomfortable. He's had a bit of a rough day. They have had to turn his settings up since he has been on the conventional ventilator. He will hopefully find a good place where he is happy and tolerating it well. 

I am so grateful for my Savior and for the gift he has given us. I am so grateful for my beautiful family. Hope you all had a Merry Christmas.

xoxo

Me

Early Christmas!!

We received an early Christmas present this year. As of10:00 this morning Caleb is off of the high frequency ventilator and onto the conventional ventilator. The settings are pretty different but they continue to monitor his oxygen the same way. He's at 27% and looking good. The high frequency ventilator is still next to his bed on standby in case we need to go back but so far so good. His chest X-rays are slowly improving and we're hoping the conventional ventilator will help him make some additional improvements.

SO thrilled with this blessing! I love seeing the moneky I sent him for Christmas in his bed! 
I love you, baby boy. We pray for you in every. single. prayer.
xoxo
Auntie Ang

Resting and Growing

Things are pretty much the same today. The doctor is fine with Caleb taking a day to rest and grow. His stats haven't changed much. They did put a line in his right wrist so they can give him blood when he needs it. His oxygen bounces between 28 and 35% which is pretty good. But we're having trouble getting the air pressure and amplitude any lower. If we don't see some progress over the next few days they may put him on the conventional ventilator to see if we can get the ball rolling again. In the photo above Caleb was getting agitated so Zeb held his fingers and rested his hand on his face. It was so sweet to him calm down.

 They put Caleb in a "snuggie" to help him feel more like he would in the womb. I love seeing him all cozy.

This is what they suction out if his mouth that comes from his lungs. :(

Leah also told me both chest tubes are out and Caleb weighs 3.53 pounds now.

So thankful for his progress and your prayers. Thank you!! We love you Fish family!

xoxo

Ang

Day 11

Caleb is making good progress. They weaned him from the nitric last night and he hasn't needed it since. His oxygen is now hovering between 30 and 35%. The small rise was anticipated since he came off the nitric. The nurse just lowered the pressure on the ventilator from 13 to 12 and kept all the other dials the same. The arterial line that went into his umbilical cord needed to be removed so they put a line into the artery on his left arm by his wrist. The X-rays are looking better but there was a small collapse in the upper lobe of his right lung so the doctors will be watching that closely. All in all he is progressing well. We're hoping that he can be moved to a conventional ventilator soon.

Three posts in one day... I'm on a roll. Love these pictures! Love them.
Any now a little song for Caleb...
Another day stronger and wiser too.... Happy 11th day to you!
xoxo
Auntie Ang

Good to the Core.

Since I am the official blog updater I assume I can post whatever I want to... ;)

I was wide awake at 4:00 in the morning. It was 32 hours after Caleb was born. 20 hours after I got the call that they didn't know if he would live. I was praying and agonizing. I thought so much about Leah and Zeb... about who they are.

Leah and I are 21 months apart. She is my little sister but all of my life I have looked up to her. Turned to her for strength and comfort. We shared a room growing up. I can see it in my mind. We had bunk beds and since I was oldest, naturally I had the top bunk. For years the bottom bed was empty. I was scared at night, every night. Scared of the dark, burglars, storms. Leah slept with me every. single. night. Not only did she sleep with me, she kept one arm around me AND slept on the edge. If someone broke in they would have to go through Leah before they got to me.

I had to share this little gem of Leah and me. It was taken the summer of 1981. It is clear where  Julia and Caleb get their darling cheeks from!

When Leah was in college she was in a terrible car accident with our Mom and little sister, Stephanie. They were on the freeway and hydroplaned into a diesel, bounced off the diesel back through three lanes of traffic and hit into another that stopped them from going onto the other side of the freeway. Leah was sitting where the impact was greatest. She was life flighted to the hospital and headed straight into surgery. As they were transferring her out of the helicopter she stopped them and asked if she could thank the pilot. That is who Leah is.

Zeb is one of a kind. I will never forget this act of service and love.... I was pregnant with my first baby 13 years ago. I was 36 weeks along and they were testing the protein in my urine to check for toxemia. I had to save ever single drop I could for 24 hours. It was such a pain. I was stressed out and emotional. I was finally done with the test and had to drive the container to the hospital. As I rounded a corner the container tipped over and the lid popped off... my precious sample soaked the carpet of my grey Honda civic. I burst into tears. Leah and Zeb were engaged at the time. I don't remember how he found out, but Zeb took my car to his parents house and cleaned the carpet. My soon to be brother in law cleaned over 32 ounces of my urine out of my car before my husband was even off work. Bless you, Zebbie. Bless you!

I love you both so much! I have been so amazed at your strength, faith and hope for these last 12 weeks. You have both strengthened me throughout this roller coaster of a pregnancy and NICU stay. You are not alone. I told Leah during one of our many phone calls while she was in the hospital that when I came home I left part of my heart with her in Texas. Her reply...."Better come get it!" I can't wait until I can! I love you, Leah Lou.

xoxo
Ang

Baby steps...

This was Saturday's update:

Caleb's nitric went down from 10 ppm to 6.4ppm. His oxygen is down from 35% to 28%. And his amps went down from 32 to 26. So we're making good progress. Today they will take one of the lines out of his belly button and replace it with a line in one of his veins. This will allow him to continue to get nutrition via IV. He'll probably have the other line in his belly button replaced tomorrow.

The little cloths they put over Caleb are so he has his mom and dad's scent with him! Love that. Keep going little man. I love you!

xoxo
Aunite Angie

One Week

This was the update from Zeb this morning...

Last night Caleb had an ultrasound on his head just to verify that there was no bleeding. The results were good. No bleeding. This morning the doctors did a liquid seal on his right chest tube. Basically they turned off the suction so any air that accumulates in the chest cavity will have to escape on its own. So far he has responded well, but they'll do an X-ray in the morning to see if the pneumothorax gets any larger. No change to his ventilator settings so far.

Love you baby boy.

xoxo

Auntie Angie

6 days old...

All in all today was a pretty good day. We had a little set back but we didn't lose all of the gains we made yesterday. This morning Caleb had a pneumothorax over the left lung so they had to do another chest tube. Once the tube was in it cleared up quickly and his second X-Ray showed that no air had re accumulated. He maintained his oxygen setting at 50% for an hour or two but ended up going to 59% and maintaining that level through the day. Given that he was at 78% two days ago I would say 59% is a pretty good place to be.

The girls were able to face time with Caleb this afternoon.They loved it and he even opened his eyes for a minute! It was adorable.

Zeb gave him the stuffed animal the girls picked out for him to keep in his crib. They got to watch how they feed him through the syringe into the feeding tube. The timing on the phone call was perfect. I think Caleb loved his giraffe.

Thank you for your love and prayers. Caleb still needs them! (So does their whole family!)
I have some neat things to share that have happened... but I am ready for bed so I'll try and do that tomorrow.

xoxo
Ang

Tuesday Update

This was the update from Zeb earlier today....

The doctor just looked at Caleb's gas levels and said that it was his best reading yet! Since the reading was so good they lowered his oxygen from 74% to 68%. They also turned the amps down from 40 to 38. So now we watch and pray that he can maintain these new levels.

I love this picture of Leah changing Caleb's bum! I love seeing her touching him and taking care of him. Love his little piggies. I see a little Julia in this picture...

Thank you for all of your prayers. This is one LOVED little boy.
xoxo
Angie

4 days old

This is the update I got from Leah today...

Caleb is making some small steps in the right direction. To give you an idea of what's going on and where we need to go, Caleb is on the "scary" ventilator. There's all kinds of knobs and numbers and it looks like something Doc from Back to the Future would put together (kind of like the flux capacitor).  Attached to this ventilator is a less scary looking machine for nitric oxide.

Every 3-4 hours they draw a little blood and test the gas in his blood that these machines supply. If the numbers look good they turn the settings down on the ventilator. Sometimes the readings are good and other times not so good. So the readings on the machine are constantly being adjusted up and down. Improvement, regression, improvement... Thankfully we are trending towards improvement. Once the readings on the "scary" ventilator are good enough they will switch him to the conventional ventilator. That could be days, weeks or months depending upon how quickly he progresses. After being on the conventional ventilator some babies regress and have to be put back in the "scary" ventilator. After Caleb has been on the conventional ventilator and improved to where he needs to be they will do some type of oxygen through tubes. Sometimes it's a cpap and other times it's the hose that runs under their nose. Once he gets completely off the oxygen it's time for Caleb to learn how to breath and eat on his own. At that point he will be transferred to the level 2 NICU.  That's another story and we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

All in all a long road but other families have done it and we can do it too. 

Thank you for your love and prayers!! Amazing how much I love my nephew that I have never met but have prayed for everyday day for months. I believe that when you pray for someone for an extended period of time it bonds you together. I love you, Mr. Caleb. 

This is also my shout out to the nurses at Presby Rockwall that I fell in love with the week I was there. THANK YOU for the love, prayers and kindness you have given to Leah. Thank you for getting her to the point that she could transfer. Thank you for visiting her and sending her messages. You are the BEST! 

xoxo

Angie

Come Together

For those of you what would like to join us, our family is doing a fast tomorrow for Caleb and the Fish family. We would love any and all that would like to join us to pray and fast for them.

With love,
Angie and family

December 14th update..

Caleb is struggling with the ability to use his lungs. The problem is that his lungs are so immature that it's hard for him to make his lungs take the oxygen he's receiving and put it into his blood. To help with the process they have him on a ventilator that pumps up to 100% oxygen into his lungs. The air we breathe is about 21% oxygen. He would not be able to survive without the oxygen they are giving him. To determine if the oxygen is getting into the blood they have monitors that check his blood oxygen saturation.

Yesterday morning the oxygen saturation was not good. They decided to give him nitric oxide to see if that would help with saturation and thankfully it did. Since he cannot stay on oxygen indefinitely, the goal is to decrease his dependency on the oxygen and the ventilator. So now every two to three hours they are drawing a small amount of blood to test all of the gasses that are present in his blood. Depending on those readings they either increase or decrease the support he receives from the ventilator. Yesterday was a bit of up and down with re guard to that support. Yesterday morning the support was maxed out. As the day went on they were able to reduce the support from the ventilator. Unfortunately not all of those reductions have been permanent. They might make a reduction in support and then two hours later increase the support to the former level. As of last night he was not at the highest level of support that he was at yesterday morning but also not at the least amount of support for the day. This up and down is probably how it's going to be for the next several days and possibly weeks.

Caleb had a better night last night. Leah and Zeb wanted to thank you for your prayers. 

I love you baby Caleb. Keep fighting. You are in every thought and prayer.

xoxo

Auntie Angie

Caleb is HERE!

This is Angie posting…

Caleb was born last night at 8:35 pm. He weighs 3 lbs 4 oz. and is 15.5 inches long. Leah had a c section after heavy bleeding throughout the day, no amniotic fluid and Caleb's heart rate showing signs of stress.

Caleb has had a hard time throughout the night. He is on a ventilator and needs 100 percent oxygen at times. His little lungs are struggling. The right lung has a hole in it and he has a chest tube in. He is in critical condition. Leah is recovering well from the c section. Leah and Zeb are with Caleb.

This is a new kind of roller coaster and it changes by the hour. Caleb needs our prayers.

Please pray for him and his family. Thank you for the love and support you have shown them.

We love you, Caleb.

You are a fighter!!

xoxo

Auntie Angie

29 Weeks

I was anxious and excited to go for my ultrasound today. I knew they would measure Caleb and was excited to see the progress he has made. They measured 2.4cm of fluid. They are estimating his weight to be 2 pounds 14 ounces. He's gained over a pound in the last 3 weeks! You can definitely tell by my growing belly. His measurements are in the 50th percentile which I'm thrilled with. They also measured his chest (thorax) which can tell us if he is in the bottom percentile or not. Babies that measure in the 2.5 percentile and below are at higher risk for pulmonary hypoplasia. Pulmonary hypoplasia is incomplete development of the lungs, which is obviously critical for survival. Caleb's chest measured is in the 25th percentile. While this measurement doesn't mean he doesn't have it, it at least can give reason to believe his lungs may be a normal size and have been able to develop. Babies with pulmonary hyperplasia have very small lungs which means the thoracic cavity is smaller. It was nice to get such encouraging measurements. His stomach was also partially filled which means he is sallwing some fluid. That's great!!! 

Today I am 29 weeks! It's amazing to think I am 1 week way from 30 weeks! Oh I am so happy! 

Xoxo 

Me

Ice storm

Well most of the metroplex was shut down due to the ice storm. School was canceled and Zeb's office was closed. Zeb and the girls started the morning off by decorating the Christmas tree. Perfect activity for a cold December morning.

They did a great job! 

It was freezing outside but they loved getting their winter gear on and going out to play. 

Cold success. 

Love these girls. 

The other night Julia wanted me to put her to bed so she took me (via the phone) in her room and I sang songs to her. After prayers she said, "But mommy, can you come home today?" I told her I would love to but couldn't and she said, "But I want you to." Oh how I love her. The girls have all done so well with all the adjusting they have done. Such sweet girls. 

It's been so nice to get up. My legs are hurting much less and it feels so good. 

Another day down.

Xoxo

Me

Christmas Party Success

When the girls opened the advent on Thursday they were so excited to find out they were going to a Christmas party where Zeb works. He came home early to get the girls and mananged to curl Claire's hair. She loves they way he does it and asks him quite often. It's one of my favorite things ever. He is amazing. 

Thankfully with the forecasted ice storm the party didn't get canceled. The weather wasn't too bad yet so they were able to go. When they got to the party they had this table set up where they each made their own bag of reindeer food. 

Claire noticed a huge pile of presents when they walked In and thought maybe they were for the employees and their spouses. When she saw a kid unwrapping a present she said she didn't want to get her hopes up so she assumed he was opening his parents or something like that. But when they saw Santa she found out who the presents were really for. 

When they climbed up on santa's lap and told him their name he handed them each a gift with their name on it! Julia got a Lala Loopsey Doll.

Audrey got an Art Doll. 

Hallie got a girls nerf gun.

And Claire got a rainbow loom. Since they already have a few of those Hallie and Claire decided to share their presents. Love it when they share things. 

I still can't believe the firm does this for all the kids. It's pretty awesome if you ask me. I'm sure it was magical for the kids. 

The food was amazing. This is just the kids table of food with gobs of candy at the end. I didn't even notice the mountains of candy until Zeb pointed it out to me. Of course the girls had to take some home! 

Here is the dessert table. Seriously yummy.

They had these paint splatter crafts that the girls got to do.

They had face painting. 

Such cute kids! 

A balloon artist was there. 

And more crafts to do. 

Seriously the kids had a blast. Zeb said it was such an awesome party with all the stops. I am so glad they were able to go and have such a great time. When I talked to them once they got home they were so animated and were grinning from ear to ear. 

When they were going to bed we heard that school was canceled Friday due to the ice storm. It's always the coolest thing to have school canceled. I remember it being canceled due to snow when I was a kid and it was always such a thrill when we found out. So fun. 

Well I hope everyone stays warm and safe during the ice storm this weekend. 

Xoxo

Me