You are not hard to miss, sweet boy.
But I sure miss you lots today.
Oh your eyebrows and tongue. You had the best expressions and I'm sure you still do.
I miss seeing them every day.
You were so much fun to be around, son. We loved every minute we had with you.
I have no idea how many hours in your short little life I watched you sleep and held your precious chubby hands, but it was a lot. I was blessed with lots of hours considering the circumstances.
I miss that.
And oh your smile.
Boy does it melt my heart.
There are so so many things that I miss. From every hair on your head to your long chubby toes.
I got to see a picture of your baby sister yesterday. When I arrived at the specialist all they did was lead me into the doc office and I burst into tears.
The emotions and memories are so hard to work through. Oh my goodness sweet boy, this is so very hard. But we will get through it one day at a time.
I love you and every single one of your sisters.
More than there are stars in the sky AND sands in the sea.
Xoxo
Mom
You are amazing! Hold tight to your memories and I know your sweet Caleb will help you get through all this. I can't even begin to imagine the roller coaster of emotions you are going through. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteSweet boy. Miss him so much.
ReplyDeleteThat first pic is my favorite!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. My heart physically hurts for you... I hurt for you more than I can describe, Leah. I miss Caleb, too. I know I have no clue how much you miss him, but oh I find myself wanting to check the blog for a cute new picture or story or video. I want to log onto the web cam to peek in on him. I have dreamed I get to hold him. I long for that day. It's amazing the impact Caleb has had on me, my family and so many hundreds of others in his 207 days on earth. He pushes me constantly to try harder and to be better.
ReplyDeleteI love you Caleb Luke. I miss you. I pray you feel our love and that you are near your Mommy and Daddy and sisters often. You have changed my heart, the level I love, and the level I trust in the Savior more than any other experience I have had in all my 36 years. You have my heart forever. I snuggle my lion when I miss you the most. Your cousins sleep with their lovies every night. We are all better because of you and your giant spirit. Your funeral was the most amazing I have ever been to. Oh sweet boy.... I hope somehow in heaven you can feel all that I hold for you in my heaven. I love you, Caleb.
xoxo
Auntie Angie
... I hope somehow in heaven you can feel all that I hold for you in my heart. :)
ReplyDeleteAlthough my circumstance was much different than yours (my son was stillborn at 28 weeks), I feel a connection and understanding to what you "may" be feeling (I hesitate to assume what you're feeling, but I can imagine). My subsequent pregnancy with my second son was incredibly stressful. Somedays I took it hour by hour and somedays I was okay for the entire day. You are doing an amazing job juggling life. Allow yourself the tears and time and patience to grieve and to enjoy this next pregnancy. Every day is a gift. Every fluttery movement and doppler heartbeat checks is a blessing, which is what I had to tell myself in order to cope. I didn't know the future, but I could at least rejoice in my baby's presence at that moment....it's what helped me get through some difficult times of doubt and sadness.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you, but I feel for you. You are strong and you can do this!
P.S.
My heart always melts when I see pictures of Caleb. I can see he had the sweetest disposition and those cheeks!!
Love,
Caroline
Thank you for your words and sharing your story with me. My heart goes out to you as well. Thank you for your love and encouragement.
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