Stories to go with the Pictures

Now that I've posted the pictures of the walk I wanted to type a few stories. But let's be honest, I would post a lot more if your sweet baby sister weren't crying so much. It breaks my heart. There isn't blood in her stool since I cut dairy out of my diet but she isn't thriving like you or your sisters. She is dropping in weight even though I have enough milk. She was in the 55th percentile at birth and is now in the 14th. She cries like she is in pain. Pretty hard to console at times no matter what we do. I'm going to put her on a probiotic to see if it will help her tummy. It's been really tough. She likes listening to your songs. :) 

Okay here are some stories about the walk for you. 

When Adrianne first got to the walk she said they were playing your song, Sky Full of stars. I wasn't near the stafe so I couldn't hear it. No worries because after the walk was done and we were walking to the bus guess what song came on? Yep, Sky Full of Stars. It made my heart so happy. 

Another favorite thing about the walk was that dallas presby has a tent there. A lot of employees hang around at the tent which means i get to see them. I got to see one of my favorite nurses, Emily, that took care of me. I also got to see some of your nurses that were favorites as well. Stephanie and Joanna. I loved seeing people that are connected to you like that. It makes my heart so happy. 

Another favorite is when you start the race (and throughout) volunteers read your shirt and yell for you. When We started the race and they yelled, "Go Caleb" it brought tears to my eyes. Hearing your name and knowing they were cheering for you gave me such a sense of pride. I had to keep myself from crying like a baby. It was one of my absolute favorite things. 

On the way home from the walk we were riding a bus to the car and these two sisters 8 and 10  sat by me. They were darling and so polite. I asked them who they were walking for and they just said "For all the babies that can't walk for themselves." It was so precious and sweet. I told them all about you. They didn't really understand and the 8 year old said, "I'm sorry about your baby boy. I hope he gets better." I told her thank and that you were better and in heaven with Jesus. I showed them pictures and they just smiled. They were seriously adorable. 

Having a group of people walk for you was therapeutic. I hope it grows each year. It was so special and I'm grateful for all those that came or that were there in spirit. 

I love you, mister. 

Like crazy. 

Xoxo 

Mom 

Caleb's Courage

Last week we did the March of Dimes walk to honor you. Our team is "Caleb's Courage." I love the way the shirts turned out and I loved walk for you.

Here we are taking the shuttle to the walk.

When we got there we met up with Julia's friend Julie from her Kindergarten class.  She was born early and her family walk every year. Their family team is "Julie's Jewels."

 Not sure why you can't see dad in this one I must have edited the picture wrong. I'll have to fiddle with it.You can barely see Lexie in the stroller. I can't believe how outnumbered you and daddy are.

 Alexis was very serious about her bottle. 

Uncle Josh and Aunt Carol came from Austin for the walk and it was wonderful to have them there. We were so grateful they could come and join us.

Lexie was 6 weeks old so I was really nervous with how she would do. I am a bit of a germaphobe but she did great in the sling and I didn't have to get her out much.  She was a champ. 

 The Grubbs family met us there to walk. We loved having people join our team.

Caleb's Courage Team Picture Take 1

Hmmm I seem to be missing a few children.

Caleb's Courage Team Picture Take 2

...Wait the Taylor family joined us...

Caleb's Courage Team Picture Take 3

Okay I think we got it.

Jill, Corey, Jace and Dayton were there. Dayton and Jace were in the same NICU right by your bed when you were admitted. Your first buddies. It was so great to see them and spend time with them. They are such a great family. This tradition will be enjoyed every year. More of your NICU friends wanted to be there but will join us next year for sure.

And of course your sweet Nurse Adrianne was there with her family. Oh how we love her. Her friend Amy also came. We are so blessed to have so many people that care about you and honored you. Lots of friends and family were there is spirit. You are one loved boy, Caleb. You were and are one strong and courageous boy and you made your mark on so many. 

I am so proud of you and the person you are. Thank you for teaching us so much.

Thank you for showing such courage and strength. 

I will look forward to this every year.

I love you to heaven and back.

xoxo

Mom

6 Weeks, wild thing and a pirate!

I can't believe your little sister is 6 weeks old. She is wearing this sweet outfit a friend gave us at the shower. It says, "hand picked for earth by my brother in heaven." This was the outfit she came home from the hospital in. I just love it. 

Alexis has had a rough go. After looking at all her symptoms (lots and lots of crying, blood in stool, among other things) we've determined we think she has a milk protein intolerance. I've completely eliminated all milk products from my diet and have already seen an improvement, which is very promising. Bless her heart. Hopefully she will continue to get better. 

She is a champion burper. Seriously. She burps herself while she is eating!!! She is such a sweetheart and we just adore her. 

Audrey and Hallie were both in plays/performances at school. They're pretty awesome!!! 

Audrey was a wild thing...

And Hallie was a pirate. 

Julia, of course. needed to match. 

Your sisters did such great jobs! Love them like crazy. 

We are excited to walk on Saturday wearing our Caleb shirts!!! 

Sure do love you, son. 

Xoxo

Mom

Little Miss

Your little sister had a very rough day yesterday. She cried and cried and cried. Your sisters were determined to get her happy and tried everything under the sun. 

They gave her the binkie, turned on the swing, put your crib vibrating pad behind her and then turned on "Caleb songs" super loud (hence the black speaker next to her). Your music was the last thing they added and it seemed to do the trick. When the songs would switch she would start to get fussy again but quieted when another started. It was pretty tender to see how much she liked your songs. 

We got a good 15 minutes with her happy but then we needed to take Claire to church and she wasn't happy about that. She proceeded to cry off and on until close to 11pm. I think her tummy is really bothering her. I feel so bad for her and it's exhausting but I'm trying my hardest. Just like I'm trying my hardest to keep going without you here. Just like I'm trying my hardest to be a good mom and figure out our new normal. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job at all but I keep trying each and every day. 

I love you, mister. 

Xoxo

Mom 

Easter

Happy Easter to my sweet boy. We love and miss you. 

For Easter we took eggs and an Easter bunny to you grave. Ww each wrote something on an egg that the savior gives that has helped us this past year and a half and helps us when we miss you. 

I wrote "Atonement." Because of the atonement I will be able to be with you again. He gave the most tremendous sacrifice that is hard to comprehend but one I am deeply and intensely grateful for. Because of our savior and what he has done for us, from the garden to the tomb, means we can live together again. I know my savior lives, that he was resurrected and that is a gift he gives to each of us. Words cannot express my love and appreciation for my savior, Jesus Christ. 

Happy Easter, bubba. 

We miss you. 

Boy am I grateful I will see you again. 

Xoxo

Mom 

Caleb's Courage Shirts

I'm so excited about these shirts to celebrate Caleb. If you would like to order a shirt to honor Caleb, whether you're walking with us or not, they will be $12. What is left over after paying for the shirt will go towards March of Dimes fundraising!!! 

Women's: xs, s, m, l, xl, xxl, xxxl, xxxxl. 

Men's: xs, s, m, l, xl, xxl, xxxl, xxxxl. 

Youth: xs, s, m, l, xl

Shirts are royal blue. 

Please let me know by Monday, April 6th if you want one and what size. Sorry the notice is so short, but hey, I just had a baby! 😀

Spread the word! 

The walk is Saturday, April 18. If you would like to join our team and walk with us go to

http://www.marchforbabies.org/caleblukefish

After signing up you register on the day of the walk at 8am. Walk starts at 9am. 

Thanks in advance!

Xoxo