Tuesday, April 15, 2014

For a Bit

After your blood started going I had to step away for a bit. Your oxygen is at 69 percent and I'd really like it to be lower to have more wiggle room during surgery. I was stressing about your surgery, if you'll be ready today and all the things to prep for surgery. I can't imagine doing all of this again if we aren't able to do surgery today. And it is so hard to see you in your crib with IVs everywhere knowing you're hungry too. I came to the room dad and I are staying in to pray and to try and calm down and refocus.

Dad poked his head in to say surgery will be at 3:30. I pray that your numbers will come down a bit so you start in a good place. Dad said the IV giving you blood blew so they tried the one in your foot and that on blew as well. So they have to start another one. I told him I should stay here for a while longer. I don't want to be stressed when I'm by you. I feel like you can sense it. So dad is with you and I'm writing to you. 

The trust and faith I need to have in Heavenly Father and our Savior throughout this trial is more than I ever thought I could give. My limits are tested continually but I am also strengthened. I am learning so much. I am trying my very hardest, Caleb. You are one special boy. 

Love you like crazy, son.
Xoxo
Mom

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5 comments:

  1. JessApril 15, 2014 at 11:41 AM

    Thanks for the updates Leah. We are praying for ALL of you!

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  2. RiffanyApril 15, 2014 at 11:47 AM

    God bless all of you. Lots of prayers coming to Caleb and your family! Hang in there, momma!

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  3. Eric and Cindy HansenApril 15, 2014 at 12:04 PM

    Oh Leah, those moments are the absolute worst. I am so sorry. I truly am. I wish so much I could do something to ease this burden.

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  4. WendyApril 15, 2014 at 1:24 PM

    I've been checking this like crazy the last couple days. My heart is heavy for you and Caleb. He hasn't left my thoughts and prayers.

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  5. ArielApril 15, 2014 at 1:32 PM

    Little Caleb hasn't left my prayers either - I so appreciate the regular updates. Two hours to go. My thoughts will be with all of you for the rest of the day. You are strong, so very strong. Stronger than you may ever know.

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