One, already?

Your baby sister is one! I seriously can't believe a year has gone by since she came into the world screaming her head off. She cried for the first 3 months and I'm convinced she was making up for the time we couldn't hear you. I wish I would have been able to hear you and I sure wish I could hear you now. Yesterday was a great day. We got her one year pictures taken and had so much fun watching her during her cake smashing at the photo shoot! She went to town on the cake and couldn't get enough fistfuls. It was awesome!  

Your sister is such a light and joy and we are so grateful for her. Her soul shines brightly and clearly and we just couldn't adore her more. Here are a few sneak peaks from her session. I am so excited! 

Oh how we love her. It's interesting how grief and joy walk side by side with a rainbow baby. On the one hand my heart bursts with pure joy and love for her and on the other hand it is so broken and lonely for you. For example, today I was holding her before her nap time and she was just leaning her head on my shoulder and cuddling so sweetly. My heart was so full of love and happiness and then just a few seconds later I recalled the last time I held you. It was when daddy and I walked down the long hospital hallway through big doors to a very cold room. It was where I had to give you to someone in the hospital. The walls were metal and everything was so cold. The was a small metal door open in the wall where they were going to lay your body. I didn't want to let you go. But I had to. The only way I've made it through the last two and a half years is because of my savior. The strength and comfort he sustains me with allow me to continue on until you are in my arms again. 

Not a day goes by that I don't miss you, son. I love you more than words can even express. I love your sisters and am overjoyed they are part of our family. It wouldn't be the same without each of you. Somehow we were sent a 5th daughter, a sixth child and she is truly a gift. There are times that are hard and goodness juggling 5 is tricky but she is such a light and joy in our lives. Our hearts are so grateful and happy we received a blessing as big as her. 

I love you to heaven and back. 

Xoxo 

Mom