Keep me Going

You have the sweetest sisters. Seriously. Julia is spunky yet tender. She told me my dress looked beautiful yesterday and I told her she was adorable. She replied "no you're adorable." After going back and forth she won when she announced "yow adowable with that dwess and that baby guwl."

She then put on my church shoes and announced to her sisters, "hey guys look at my new kicks!" "I'm going to go put on some more flair!"

After school today she showed me this:

I love that she draws so much and I love that she often expresses her love for you in her drawings. This one is you with julia and Heavenly Father and Jesus. I adore it. 

Claire saw a picture a friend posted of her brothers and how happy she was that they were here because they were born premature too. Claire was sad and asked if it was okay that the picture made her sad. It was so sweet to see her love for you. We are all trying to work through our sadness and find joy in the time we had with you looking forward to when we will be together again. 

Claire is maturing faster than I can say "slow down!!!" She is very set on naming your baby sister and drills me daily for what names I like and then reports them to dad to see what he likes. She definitely has an opinion and is totally all in for naming her!!! "Mom, we have got to name my baby sister...today."

She found out her teacher was having a bad day today. So she took the cookies she was going to share with her friends at lunch and gave them to her teacher with a note saying she was sorry she was having a bad day. Makes my heart so happy. 

I love hearing sweet Hallies prayers. They are so specific and heart felt and my heart feels like it will burst when I hear her pray. She always prays for you, sweet boy. 

She is so concerned for people, especially me. She is constantly asking if I'm okay. She is at my side hugging me wherever we go or sit. All your sisters are. They beg for a turn to sit next to me or snuggle me. It's like they soak up every possible minute because they know what it was like to not have me near. It makes my heart full with love and joy.

Hallie started a journal at school to write to you in when she misses you. I think it helps her feel closer to you. 

Audrey left her class at church the other day because she was missing you. She seems to be doing better overall in school lately which is good. She has so much love for you, Caleb. 

Audrey would be attached to my hip if it were possible. She gives hugs to me constantly and I love every one. She plays with my hair when she stands beside me and I soak in every second when she does. 

When we do favorite things at night without fail your sisters say theirs was spending time with the family. If there was something super fun then they say that thing AND spending time with family. That is one of the things that stands out, among a few others, this past year. Time with family is special and cherished. We are more grateful than we ever were before and you have helped teach us that. 

Your sisters started touching my little tummy and talking to your baby sister. They are anxious to feel her kick and keep asking when that will be. I remember in the hospital when they felt you over and over a few weeks before you were born. It was such an awesome moment for each of them. Their faces lit up! 

Your sisters are a huge portion of what keep me going. I am able to feel happiness and joy with them while I ache for you. They remind me what is important and remind me of what you have taught us. 

We are such a blessed family. 

So thankful for each of my children and for daddy. My cup runneth over. 

Xoxo 

Mom