Spinning

Here is one of the ultrasounds I had with our baby #6!!!! 

Zeb and I found out I was pregnant a week to the day before Caleb passed away. We were shocked since we were most definitely preventing.  That week we had so many questions. What if we lose both babies? What if we lose one but not the other? What if we bring both home and Caleb comes home with a vent and we have a newborn at the same time? Just days after we found out Caleb's path became very clear.  Much quicker than we ever thought. I try not to let my mind wander and ask questions that get me nowhere. 

I have gotten many ?'s about this pregnancy so I thought it would be useful to post the answers to the most common questions I have received...

My chances of rupturing again are not normal odds. Once you have ruptured prematurely your chances go up to 1 in 3. 

My due date is March 11 (2 weeks after Caleb was due).

Yes I have been sick. In fact I have never been so sick in all my pregnancies combined BUT another day sick is another day pregnant.

Starting at 16 weeks I will most likely start progesterone injections to help prevent preterm delivery. I am currently researching this and trying to see if there are risks or side effects I haven't come across yet. I am researching all other sorts of things to do anything I can to decrease my chances of rupturing again.

I am seeing my regular OB in conjunction with a high risk OB.

Each life is a miracle, not matter the length of time on earth, so we wanted to share our news. Ultimately we have no idea what will happen. Only Heavenly Father knows the path for this next Fish baby. Honestly, we are leaving things in His hands. I want what is best for this baby and our family. Whatever that is. Instead of trusting that Heavenly Father will bless us with a full term pregnancy and healthy baby I am trusting that because He knows all, because He knows us better than we know ourselves, I trust that as this plan for this child and our family unfolds according to his will and pray we will have happiness, strength and joy throughout. When I was pregnant with Caleb and was on bed rest I just thought since I was remaining pregnant that he would be okay. I trusted Heavenly father but in the back of my mind kept thinking Caleb would be okay. But Caleb's path was very different than what I thought. Of course I hope this baby stays here on earth just as I never gave up hope that Caleb would until he slipped back to heaven. Hope keeps people going. There is hope for everyone. In all facets of life. With hope, I want to have faith in Heavenly Father's plan for our family and trust that he knows what is best for us, not me.

Our heads are still spinning. Just as I am sure yours are as well. I DID NOT see this coming in a million years but clearly I do not know what God knows. So grateful He cares for us and knows how to succor us. He brings me comfort when I need it most. He strengthens me when I feel unable to go on. He will always be there as long as I seek Him.  I am so grateful for Him in my life.

Some days I do better than others with all that we have gone through and are still going through. I am beyond grateful for all of you who love and pray for us. For every last thing you all have done. 

We are truly blessed.

One day at a time,

xoxo

Me