6 Weeks

I can't believe Caleb is 6 weeks old. It's crazy to me that 6 weeks has gone by. If you go by gestation like they do in the NICU he is 35 Weeks and 3 days. 

I look back at the last 4 months and they seem like a blur. Just 4 months ago we were sitting in the office at the pregnancy spa with the girls waiting to find out if we were having a boy or girl. The girls held hands and jumped up and down screaming when the sonographer said it was a boy. They had each, at different times in months previous, mentioned that they wanted a baby brother. Sometimes begging for one. That day in the office was pretty awesome. By the end of that same month I was on bed rest for the first time in my life because of bleeding. By October my amniotic fluid started leaking while on bed rest but I didn't want to go in to the ER to see what was happening. I didn't want it to be my fluid. I listened to Zeb when he insisted we go in because deep down I knew something was wrong. And so my hospital stay began. My water resealed but broke again less than 2 weeks later. By November I had my first trip to labor and delivery but was able to go back to antepardem. Then December 12, 2014 our sweet little boy came into this world 10 and a half weeks early. Words can't express how much I love this boy. I have loved him long before I was ever pregnant with him. 

The NICU roller coaster is harder than anything I've ever experienced. The ups and downs so intense yet you can't escape them. One minute you're wanting to plan the nursery and get it ready and the same day you're crying so hard your face goes numb. The monitors for Caleb go off so many times I  lose count. I wish I could ignore them. 

We have seen so many babies in the same NICU nursery come and then go to special care that I lost track. We saw a baby that was barely 2 pounds be extubated and go to CPAP.  Caleb looks like a tank in there weighing in today at 5 pounds 7.5 ounces! But we all know I have chubby babies! He's on track to be like his sisters. 

I love these pictures. I love every picture of him. I took the one below because I like to feel that we are with him all the time. The animal the girls picked out is always in his crib. Our family picture is placed where he can see us. We pray that he can feel our love for him all the time. We pray that he will be strengthened and comforted. 

With the constant change on Caleb's many settings there are a few things that have remained constant. With all the uncertainty about what is to come there are a few things I am certain of. 

1. That we love Caleb and he is part of our family forever. 

2. That we trust our Heavenly Father and have faith in his plan for our family. 

One of my favorite scriptures that I came to love in college is Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths.  

Xoxo

Me